


I Like Me Better (When I’m With You)

by seekrest



Series: Maybe In Another Universe [9]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: (but only a little bit) - Freeform, (it’s me of course there’s angst), Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, Light Angst, Michelle Jones Needs a Hug, Michelle Jones is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22782604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekrest/pseuds/seekrest
Summary: Michelle was convinced of absolutely three things.1) Love was something best kept in romance novels (not that she’d ever admit to reading them)2) Her little sister was obsessed with her love life - or lack thereof (though Michelle was certain Lina would date someone before she did)3) If Michelle believed in love - which she didn’t - she is sure that she’s only ever loved three boys before:- Johnny, her brother’s boyfriend- Harry, the most popular boy in school- and Peter, the nicest one.She should’ve guessed, knowing her luck and how the universe always conspired to work against her, that junior year would upset the carefully constructed balance she had on her world.—To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU
Relationships: Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: Maybe In Another Universe [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1711183
Comments: 59
Kudos: 104





	1. Chapter 1

Michelle was convinced of absolutely three things.

  1. Love was something best kept in romance novels (not that she’d ever admit to reading them)

  2. Her little sister was obsessed with her love life - or lack thereof (though Michelle was certain Lina would date someone before she did)

  3. If Michelle believed in love - which she didn’t - she is sure that she’s only ever loved three boys before: Johnny, her brother’s boyfriend, Harry, the most popular boy in school and Peter, the nicest one. 




She should’ve guessed, knowing her luck and how the universe always conspired to work against her, that junior year would upset the carefully constructed balance she had on the world.  
  


* * *

“Meesh, come on.”

Michelle sighed, rolling over in bed. “Go away, Lina.”

“Dad’s burning something in the kitchen.” Lina whined, Michelle not moving an inch as she sighs.

“Go bother Taylor about it.”

“Taylor says to get your ass up.” Michelle perks up at hearing her older brother’s voice, turning around and squinting at him as he smirks.

“When do you leave for California again? Tomorrow? Three hours?” Michelle asks, watching as Taylor rolled his eyes while Lina grinned.

“Ha ha. I’m serious,” he nodded towards the kitchen. “We better get in there before he burns down the house.” 

“I don’t know how you expect me to be of any help.” Michelle mutters, moving the covers as she sits herself up out of bed - yawning as she stretches.

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go.” She hears Lina squeal, turning around to see Taylor smile at her before following after Lina - Michelle glancing around her room.

Their father, in a valiant effort to try and maintain the tradition that their mother had started years and years ago - going all in the kitchen once a month to celebrate the people she loved with the food she adored. 

He never seemed to succeed, always burning the cornbread or the greens - how he did the latter, Michelle never knew. But Taylor, Lina and her all just ignored it - the earnest way he tried serving as a reminder that for as much as they all missed their mom, their father missed his wife more.

* * *

Michelle is halfway down the stairs when she hears him, straightening her shoulders the way she always did anytime she heard Johnny’s voice.

Johnny Storm. The most ridiculous name for the most ridiculous pretty boy. He was their neighbor, the funniest guy she knew, and long before he’d ever been Taylor’s boyfriend - he had been her closest friend, meeting him the first day they moved into their house in Queens.

She’d known since they were eleven that Johnny was bi - remembering how honored she’d felt that he’d confided in her, wondering if that was some kind of sign that he was interested in her.

Johnny had been her very first crush, the first boy that had ever made her stomach twist into knots and her heart feel like it was going to burst out of her chest. 

Michelle should’ve guessed that him confiding in her was just as a friend, wondering in a way that made her feel bad if it was really just his way of trying to gauge whether her family would be judgmental about him at all - a segue into asking Taylor out when they were fifteen.

As impossible as it was, they were still going strong - the kind of cute couple that if it wasn’t her brother and her neighbor she’d secretly make fun of with her best friend Felicia. 

It didn’t help matters that for as much as she liked the two of them together, it still stung to see her first crush be madly in love with her brother.

When she turns the corner she sees him, putting on the best smile that she can considering she’s just woken up.

“Hey Storm, what’s up?”

Johnny turns and grins, his green eyes sparkling and blonde hair shaking slightly as he waves - looking like a damn model even if Michelle knows by now he probably literally woke up like that.

“Meesh, my darling. Good morning.” Johnny says, Michelle rolling her eyes as shoots him the finger.

“It’s morning. Remains to be seen if it’s any good.”

Johnny laughs, Taylor coming back in from the kitchen as her dad hollered, “Johnny my man, come on in. Food’s about to come out.”

“What’d he burn this time?” Michelle whispers, Taylor shooting her a look as Johnny laughs.

“Pot roast. Be nice, Meesh. He really tried this time.”

“Sure he did.” Michelle mutters, watching as Johnny leans in for a kiss before turning away.

She wasn’t jealous of the two of them, that would be beneath her.

Besides, she reasoned - she had other ideas for how to get her feelings out, in a way that could give her the chance to process whatever it is she needed to before compartmentalizing - and in a way that would never see the light of day. 

* * *

Michelle considers her letters her most secret possessions. There are three total:

Johnny, her first crush.

Peter, from seventh grade. 

And Harry, from Model UN.

Michelle only wrote the letters when she couldn’t bear the idea of dwelling on her feelings anymore, something she could never let people in on. She had a reputation to uphold after all.

She wrote them quickly, letting everything pour out of her and then never read them again - shoving them into a gift box her mother had gotten her the last Christmas they’d ever spent together.

It was also something Michelle liked to think her mom would appreciate, the one person who always tried to encourage her to be more expressive and open with the world.

“The world’s a big place, Meesh. You gotta let all that love in and experience it.” She used to say, Michelle letting herself believe that the letters were her own way of keeping the memory of her mother alive too.

* * *

Michelle’s thinking of the letters as she sits in her room, glancing out the window and watching as Johnny and Taylor go back and forth outside.

Taylor’s move to UCLA had been something none of the Jones family had been looking forward to - much less Johnny. But after he’d made some comment about traveling to see him, Taylor had responded negatively - the table growing quiet when he had.

She glances away from the window and back to her sketchbook, getting lost in the rhythm of her pencil moving back and forth - shading the lines around the still life she was working on.

Her art was something else that reminded Michelle of her mother, a soft smile on her face at how much she had encouraged her in it - decorating her hospital room with the pictures she made as a way of lifting her spirits.

Whether it worked or not, Michelle didn’t know - but she kept up the habit, hoping it would be her way to college.

She doesn’t even hear when Taylor walks in, the knock on her door startling her.

“You good?” She asks, only to see the way Taylor’s eyes are red as he nods.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He says, Michelle not believing him as he comes to sit across her bed.

“Johnny and I broke up.”

“Why?” Michelle asks, already guessing that it was leading there from how tense dinner had been and how animated their argument outside was but wanting to hear him say it all the same.

Taylor shrugs. “It was time, I guess. I don’t know. Mom always used to say high school relationships never last. First love isn’t your last and all that.”

Michelle nods, believing her mother’s wisdom even as she asks, “But you love him?”

“Yeah.” Taylor says, the sadness so clear on his face before he shakes himself - looking back at Michelle. “But I’ll get over it. Anyway,” he seems to try and swallow it down, forcing a smile on his face, “I’m taking some things to goodwill before I leave. Let me know if you want me to take anything.”

Michelle nods. “I will. It’ll be good to clear the air, perfect for a fresh start.”

Taylor smiles a bit more genuinely this time, winking at her. “Since when did you get to be so grown up, Meesh?”

Michelle rolls her eyes. “Someone had to be, especially with your dumbass as an example.”

Taylor laughs, Michelle smiling at him as he gets up from her bed - pausing in front of her doorway.

“I’m gonna miss you, Meesh.”

Michelle feels the sincerity in his voice, a pang of loss at the idea that for as much as she teased Taylor - she couldn’t imagine starting the school year without him.

Taylor taps his hand against the doorway before leaving, leaving Michelle alone to her thoughts.

He was leaving for school in a few days, already dreading coming home to an empty house - to starting her junior year without her brother around. 

Michelle looked back down to the sketch pad on her bed - pursing her lips as she thought. 

Junior year was already off to a bad start, knowing that Johnny would be hurt and confused at how Taylor had dumped him seemingly without warning - not ready to face him or the rest of high school with the knowledge that Johnny might not want to be around her after tonight.

Michelle sighed, picking her pencil back up and started to sketch again - making a promise to herself.

She had made it through high school so far without any major problems - none of the drama or bullshit that usually plagued the people of Midtown.

And even if Taylor wasn’t going to be there, even if Johnny might not want anything to do with her - Michelle was committed that she would do anything to get through the rest of high school just as she had started it - as anonymously - and with as little drama - as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I have 1000 WIPS and it’s the middle of febuwhump but this idea would NOT STOP BOTHERING ME.
> 
> I blame birdie, katie, Marie, emma, hailing, blondsak and literally EVERYONE for this.
> 
> ...don’t look at me.


	2. Chapter 2

“So what do you think of—“

“I don’t.” Michelle answered, only for Betty to sigh in annoyance. 

“This isn’t fun if you don’t participate, MJ.” Michelle rolled her eyes, flipping a page in her book as Berry rambled on.

Betty was nice enough, a place holder since Johnny had avoided her during lunch - not that Michelle blamed him.

The whole first week back had been awkward as hell, their yearly tradition of catching the subway together ruined because Taylor had to go and break Johnny’s heart a few days before the start of junior year. 

Now sitting with Betty, someone she enjoyed being around but not enough to continue to listen to her inane chatter about whatever school gossip was going around - just made her miss Taylor, and Johnny, more.

“Frankenstein? Really Michelle?” She hears a familiar voice say, “Haven't you read that a thousand times already?”

“Going for a thousand and one, Liz,” Michelle says with a smirk, watching as Liz Allen’s eyes narrowed and her arms folded, “Sorry if I like having some consistently in my life.”

Liz goes to say something more before Betty pipes up, smiling brightly and a little too forcefully as she says, “you need something Captain?”

Liz frowns at Betty before transforming her features into a calculated smile, one that makes Michelle inwardly roll her eyes as she says, “Just wanted to make sure you two are ready for practice later. We gotta stay sharp if we wanna beat Brooklyn Visions.”

“Definitely,” Betty says, pushing some of her blonde hair off her shoulders as she sits up straight, “we won’t let you down, Liz.”

“Good to know _some_ people are still in the game,” Liz says as she glances towards Michelle - Michelle just staring back at her impassively until Liz sighs, another fake smile on her face as she turns to leave.

“See you two at 3:30. Don’t be late.”

“We won’t!” Betty calls out, only to whisper furiously to Michelle, “Can you be nice?”

“I’ll be nice when she’s nice back,” Michelle cooly lies, ignoring the frown on Betty’s face as she turns her attention back to her book.

Liz and her used to be friends, back when she was a freshman and Liz was a sophomore. She was cool, drop dead gorgeous and seemingly interested in being her friend - something that Michelle didn’t understand the reason why, especially since they were so different.

When she asked her to be part of the decathlon team, it made more sense - only for Liz’s kindness to turn against her when Michelle ran circles around her and everyone else during practice rounds and competitions.

Michelle was smart, she knew that - knowing that as much as she loved her art that she could easily find her path into a good college the old fashioned way. But doing so made an enemy out of what used to be a friend in Liz, completely unprepared and unused to the idea that she wasn’t the smartest person in the room.

Betty studies her first a moment than resumes whatever conversation they had started, glad for one moment that it _was_ Betty and not Johnny who was there with her.

Johnny would’ve pushed, wanted her to talk about her _feelings_ and emotions - things Michelle didn’t have the bandwidth to talk about in the moment, much less in crowded cafeteria.

She caught a glimpse of him on the other side of the lunch room, seeing his sad expression and instantly feels like shit.

Johnny had been her friend before he’d ever been her brother’s boyfriend. And for as much as Michelle hated any kind of public display of emotions or affection, she knew it would be up to her to bridge the gap between them.

* * *

“Is this seat taken?” Michelle asks, gesturing to the bench that Johnny was sitting at as they waited for their stop outside of Midtown.

He takes out one of his headphones, his leg bobbing up and down for a moment before he says, “Yeah.”

Michelle is thrown off for a second, knowing no one was sitting by Johnny until he gives her a small smile and says, “By you.”

Michelle smirks, sitting down beside him as Johnny takes his other headphone out, tapping his fingers against his phone before saying, “Can I ask— did he, did he tell you he was gonna—“

“He didn’t.” Michelle quickly answers, seeing the sad smile on Johnny’s face before he sighs and says, “Yeah I wondered. You’re not the type to keep secrets from me.”

He glances down to his phone before meeting her eyes as he asks, “We’re still cool right?”

Michelle debates it for a second, wondering if it was some kind of betrayal to her brother only to remind herself yet again that Johnny was her friend first - and that for as much as she had originally harbored a secret crush for him, she would never do that to Taylor.

Michelle smiles, nodding as she says, “Yeah, we’re cool.”

* * *

Life resumes a new normal for Michelle, as much as it can in the next few weeks. 

Her and Johnny slip back into the easy friendship they’d had before Taylor left - even if she can still sense a pang of longing anytime his name flashed across Michelle’s cell phone, a reminder that while their friendship was secured - his and Johnny’s relationship wasn’t.

Lina makes her life miserable, as little sisters seemed destined to do - only made worse by her nonsensical questions and preoccupation with a love life that doesn’t exist.

It was Michelle’s fault, for getting her lab reports switched in the first place - though why they couldn’t have just exchanged them before school, she didn’t know.

All it further did was prove to Michelle of two things that she was already convinced of.

The first - that Lina was entirely too obsessed with her life.

And the second, that Peter Parker was really the nicest boy in school.

* * *

"Lina, what did you do with my sketchpad?"

"I don't _have_ your sketchpad," Michelle hears Lina call out, rolling her eyes as she yells back, "Then why is it in your backpack?"

"ARE YOU LOOKING THROUGH MY STUFF?" Lina yells from upstairs, Michelle shaking her head as she grabs the sketchpad that had been left inside her little sister's backpack for reasons she didn't care to know why, wishing more than ever that Taylor was home.

She loved Lina, sure but they were so different - Taylor being the one that served more of a buffer between them, something that Michelle thinks in another life - should've been her since she was the middle child.

Where Taylor was the life of the party, so was Lina - hair that was long and beautiful and didn't tangle unnecessarily, eyes that reminded Michelle a little too much of their mother. It wasn't Lina's fault that most her memories of their mom were mostly told to her by Taylor, Michelle or their dad but it was like salt in the wound - for Lina to look more like her when she didn't really remember how special and wonderful she'd really been.

Michelle's thrown out of her thoughts by a knock at the door, frowning when she glances around. Johnny was the only one who ever came by their house and he was working at his part-time gig as a lifeguard at the local swimming pool.

She quietly walks up to the door, grabbing the baseball bat just in case as she peeks through the peephole only to be completely flabbergasted at who she sees, unlocking the door and opening it as she asks, "Peter Parker?"

He smiles awkwardly, giving her a small wave before shifting his weight back and forth. "Hey uh, MJ?"

"Yeah?" She asks, trying to figure out how and why Peter would show up to her door unannounced.

Peter Parker was one of the three people she'd ever written a love letter too - the nicest boy in seventh grade and by all accounts, still was. Peter had been the first person to talk to her right after her mom had died, everyone else too weirded out and unsure of what to say.

She always knew that Peter Parker didn't live with his parents but his aunt and uncle - guessing from the look on his face that quiet day in the cafeteria that if anyone understood what she was going through, he did.

They didn't ever really become friends after that, even if they transitioned from the same gifted middle school to the same gifted high school. The only interaction that they'd ever had beyond passing each other in class was when Michelle had returned the favor during their freshman year, the week after his uncle died - when people awkwardly stared at him in the same way that they had all stared at her.

Peter Parker was nice, polite - a little _too_ nice if Michelle was honest. But there wasn't any reason for him to show up to her door just then, raising an eyebrow as she asks, "Are you okay?"

He nods, "Yeah, yeah I just-- I think we might've switched lab reports."

"We what?" She frowns, Peter slinging his backpack over and rummaging through it till he grabs a black and white composition notebook, an old standby from their old as fuck chemistry teacher who refused to live in the twenty-first century.

"This one's yours." Peter says, handing it over to her as Michelle stares at it, looking back up into his eyes as she says, "No, I'm pretty sure I have mine."

Peter smiles, as if he'd expected her to argue with him as he repositions his backpack - turning the first page and showing her something that was unmistakably hers - a doodle of Mr. Lenier sleeping at his desk.

If Michelle could blush she would've, her cheeks feeling warm as she quickly took the notebook from him - glad that Peter had not only given it to her without presumably passing it around on the internet but had reminded her that the doodle existed, inwardly kicking herself for doodling in a hardbound book to begin with.

"Thanks," she says, Peter looking at her expectantly until he says, "I uh, I think you might have mine?"

Michelle gives a half smile before setting the bat down, motioning for him to come in as he does - closing the door behind him as she says, "Uh yeah, probably. Let me go get it."

Thankfully her backpack is right beside Lina's, unzipping it with ease and grabbing the tell-tale black and white composition notebook - wondering how she'd been so careless to switch them, even if logically it made sense.

They sat close enough to each other in chemistry, it was an honest mistake - Michelle grabbing it and handing it to him.

"Thanks." He says back, awkwardly staring at each other for a moment before he says, "So uh, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Michelle replies, wondering now why Peter didn't just wait to switch notebooks with her the next day but holding her tongue - especially for how awkward this whole encounter felt to begin with, "Thanks. Again."

She winces, closing her eyes but Peter has the decency not to laugh - turning away and back towards the door, Michelle following behind him in silence.

He waves once more, another smile before Michelle closes the door behind him - groaning in frustration.

She didn't make it a habit of being awkward around anyone and hated most social interactions for that reason - even if Peter seemed to be just as awkward as she was.

"Who was THAT?" She suddenly hears Lina say, looking up to see her little sister's face beaming down at her - a smile so wide and mischievous that it makes Michelle narrow her eyes.

"Absolutely _no_ one, Lina. Just a guy from school."

"Are all the guys from school that cute?" She asks, having the audacity to wink at her as Michelle rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever, Lina."

"Come on, MJ. Tell me more about him. You need to get out more. Have some kind of social life."

"I have a social life," Michelle mutters, grabbing her backpack and settling on the couch.

"No offense but you really _don't_ , MJ. I'm eleven and I cancelled plans this afternoon so you wouldn't be all by yourself. Your best friend is Johnny and you've been secretly in love with him forever."

"Lina!" Michelle says with a frown, only for Lina to laugh.

"Truth hurts, MJ," she says flippantly, Michelle rolling her eyes to dramatic effect as Lina walks back to her room.

Michelle doesn't chase after her, not when she knew deep down that Lina was right. Her mom told her that the world was a big place - to let all that love in and to experience it.

But Michelle pushed that away for now, content with the knowledge that while she would definitely follow her mom's advice in the future - in college, when she was on her own and had more of a handle on everything in her life - she didn't have to worry about it now.

* * *

Michelle should've guessed that things in her life would never actually go according to plan.

Less than a week later, her and Betty are in gym - neither of them actually participating in the activity though for different reasons, Michelle focused on _Dracula_ and Betty on the newest Midtown gossip - only for a shadow to cross her, glancing up to see Peter Parker smiling at her tentatively - looking even more awkward and unsure that he had when he'd showed up at her house.

"Um, hey, can I talk to you?"

"Hi Peter," Betty says, "What's up?"

"Oh uh," he scratches the back of his neck with one hand, Michelle frowning as when she sees he's holding something else in his other but not quite making out what it is as he says, "I actually wanted to see if I could talk to MJ alone?"

Betty's eyes widen, her eyebrows raising in the same way it always does when she thinks she's latched on to some some new dirt - Michelle pressing her lips together as Betty grins and says, "Of course, yeah."

She turns to Michelle, not so subtly winking at her before saying, "I'll see you at lunch."

Michelle holds back the impulse to roll her eyes, Betty scrambling up and moving to the other side of the gym - no doubt going to gossip about it with Cindy or whoever else will listen before Michelle turns her attention back to Peter, raising an eyebrow curiously at him as she says, "You okay?"

"Um, yeah I am, I just--wanted to say I'm super flattered but um, I don't think it's gonna be a good idea."

"What?" Michelle asks, Peter stammering over his words.

"I mean, it's really nice. Like I didn't really realize how great of a writer you were-- which, I mean I _did_ cause we're in English together but um," Peter looks more nervous by the second, his cheeks an embarrassing shade of red as he says, "I um, I didn't realize just how _expressive_ you were."

Michelle thinks she must look as confused as she feels because Peter continues to ramble on, trying to clarify something only for Michelle's eyes to suddenly zero in on the thing that Peter was holding in his other hand - her heart skipping a beat when she sees it.

It's a letter, _her_ letter. One of the three love letters she's ever written in her life - stamped and clearly sent out to their participants, making Michelle's stomach do an awful swooping feeling when she looks back up to Peter.

If Peter has his letter, then who knows who else has theirs. She only wrote three-- maybe it was a fluke - some kind of weird cosmic coincidence that he got his and no one else got--

But Michelle doesn't even get to finish her thought - the sinking feeling in her stomach growing when she sees the gym doors open, Johnny looking around before focusing in on her - Michelle's heart leaping up to her throat when she sees he's clutching something in his hands too.

Michelle swallows, trying and failing to calm the beating of her heart as she stares back up at Peter.

_Fuck._


End file.
